The Creature From The Fishless Pond
by Sini
Summary: There may be no fish in O'Neill's pond but that doesn't mean there's nothing! Written before I saw Moebius.
1. Aquatic Aliens

A/N: This has to be one of the zaniest stories I have ever written but this is what happens when my brain goes on an over-drive. The characters are over the top so consider yourself warned. I love them all despite what you may think after you read this fic.

Also, I am not a native speaker and this has not been beta read. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.

**Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and the characters are the property of Gekko Film Corp, Double Secret Productions and MGM/UA. No infringement of copyright or trademark is intended.**

***

**The Creature from the Fishless Pond**

_by Sini_

_***_

**Chapter 1: Aquatic Aliens**

***

General O'Neill along with Colonel Carter, Doctor Jackson and Teal'c had finally all made their way to the his cabin. It was quite an achievement, it had after all taken them over eight years to get there, all at the same time that is. Things had been going smoothly with everyone more or less enjoying themselves up until the first evening. But six hours without trouble wasn't bad by no means – they had all been members of SG-1 before.

Daniel tapped Teal'c lightly on the shoulder. "Umm, Teal'c," he said in a vaguely shivering voice.

Teal'c turned his head and raised his eyebrow, just as one would expect. His firm gaze fixated on the archaeologist.

"You know how we all agreed, or at least thought that there were no fish, let alone sea creatures in Jack's pond?" Daniel continued, still – for some unknown reason – tapping Teal'c's side.

Teal'c inclined his head and somewhat forcefully removed Daniel's hand that had caused him great annoyance and discomfort.

Daniel shifted uncomfortably, returning to the subject at hand. "I'm not sure if I'm right and it may be that I am jumping into conclusions but… I know I saw something in that pond and I am willing to argue it was something terribly out of place. I-I-I have a theory, it's little out there," he said, gesturing upwards, "but maybe Jack has some sort of an alien organism occupying his fishless pond!"

Teal'c stared at Daniel, holding his usual, steady gaze. "Daniel Jackson, I believe this downtime General Hammond granted us is precisely what you require. Perhaps you should retire to your room and rest."

Daniel stared at him with his mouth wide open. "Teal'c! Weren't you listening? We need to investigate this!"

"I believe your body as well as your mind needs to, as O'Neill would say, chill out. Please do so." Teal'c replied in a calm manner.

"But the aquatic aliens!" Daniel exclaimed.

"The mere fact that you would refer to these alleged beings as 'aquatic aliens' tells me that you are most probably hallucinating and have had too much liquid caffeine."

Daniel's mouth curved into a grin. "Teal'c, you old joker! I got it now! You were just joking…"

"No, I was not, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel was about to protest but when he met the determent gaze that the Jaffa was giving him, he decided to turn and leave. It was then that Jack walked in.

"Why's Danny sulking, T?" he asked when he saw the younger man drag himself to his room.

"Daniel Jackson appeared unusually worn. I believe it is best for all of us if he goes to sleep fairly early."

"Uh, ok. So, do we have anything for dinner?" Jack asked hopefully.

"Yes," Teal'c said unceremoniously.

***

The next morning Carter made her way outside to enjoy the cool breeze. She was about to walk to the pier when she came to a sudden stop. Right in front of her she could see Daniel in the middle of a collection of books and other scientific equipment, writing fiercely in his notebook.

"Sir!" she yelled, and O'Neill poked his head out the door.

"What? Is something wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"It's Daniel, Sir."

O'Neill's eyes landed on the form next to his pond. "For crying out loud! He's supposed to be sleeping!"

Daniel was oblivious to the rest of world as he finished writing and flipped open another one of his older note books. He didn't hear the stomping of Jack's shoes and only noticed him once he ripped the book straight out of his hands.

"Daniel!" O'Neill growled.

"Jack! What are you doing?" Daniel asked in annoyance.

"The question is what are _you_ doing! You've turned my fishing area into a study hall! I come here to get rid of work and scientists!" he explained, though his voice seemed a little tight.

"Hey!" Carter said, glaring at him.

"Not you Carter! You're an… exception." More glares were shooting around. "An exceptional scientist and a soldier?" he offered cautiously.

"We'll talk about this later," Carter stated firmly, her smirk giving her away. "But first, Daniel. What are you doing?"

Daniel frowned as the conversation shifted back to him. "I'm investigating the creature, possibly creatures, that reside in Jack's pond."

"What creatures?" Carter asked.

Daniel proceeded to telling her about his escapades of the earlier night. It was really amazing how long a story you could tell about a few minutes spent by the pond. Sometime during the retelling of the saga of events, O'Neill had disappeared.

"— and that's why I have this demolecularizer with me at all times," Daniel concluded.

"Where did you get that? I've been dying to get one!" Carter exclaimed.

"Ehm, let's not get into that. The important thing is to keep our focus on the pond," Daniel said with shifty eyes.

"Where'd Jack go?" Daniel asked, noticing his absence.

"Just be happy that he's gone, Daniel," Carter reminded him. "So, can I help?"

***

O'Neill and Teal'c were sitting on the porch of the little cabin, looking at the two ecstatic scientists. It had been going on for hour on end – different kinds of 'Ooohs' and 'Aaahs' making their way to O'Neill's ears, driving him to the edge.

"I got it!" Carter exclaimed suddenly. "I have a picture!" she announced proudly.

"Of what?" O'Neill queried when he jumped up and jogged to them.

"It's the creature!" Daniel said in awe as he stared at the picture on the screen of Sam's laptop.

Sam inclined his head into an awkward position. "Should the image be rotated?" She heard some incoherent mumbling and decided to try it.

"I ask you again. What is that picture of?"

"Well, it's a… an orange, furry Gremlin look-alike… with burgundy highlights." Carter said in the most professional tone she could manage.

"With an attitude!" Jack added, noting the facial expression on the thing. "Whoa…"

"Yeah…" Daniel agreed.

"I suppose I owe you an apology. Although I still maintain that you need to reduce the amount of coffee you consume each day."

Daniel frowned at Jack. "Uh, right… Now, about the creature."

"The Neon Gremlin?" Jack offered.

"About the creature, what should we do about it?"

"I don't know about you, but I hold a personal grudge against it. He must've eaten all my fish!"

The scientists rolled their eyes. "Let's get to work." They said in unison.

"Work? On what?"

"You'll see..." Carter assured him.

***

TBC…

***

Yes, well. That would be it for now but if anyone's interested, I will continue to write this. And no, I was not under the influence when I wrote this.

EDIT: July, 2009. Changed a few words, and added a couple of lines, because I finally got around to finishing this silly thing. :)


	2. Straight from the Fridge, Man!

Well, after two and a half years, and some nice reviews (thank you!), I finally got around to writing the second chapter. Thanks to everyone who pestered me to continue.

Remember in "Fragile Balance" the scene where Teal'c asked Jack if he was conducting a scientific experiment in his fridge? Well, that's where this came from.

**Disclaimer on chapter one.**

***

**Chapter 2:**** Straight from the Fridge, Man!**

***

Sam had put together a makeshift research laboratory in a matter of minutes. Jack had always thought he had nothing relating to science in his cabin, save for a first aid kit and a bottle of single malt, but Sam had made use of half the stuff he had. The "magnificent" sight now took over his porch and stretched inside through the open kitchen door.

"Carter?" he asked expectantly.

"Sir?"

"All _this_," he gestured around him, "had better yield a result."

"Daniel and Teal'c are attempting to capture the creature as we speak," she said, nodding towards the small pier.

***

"Okay, Teal'c. You hold onto me while I scoop it up into the net," Daniel said, or pleaded, as he peered under the planks. "It's hiding behind some debris."

Teal'c let out an audible sigh before grabbing hold of Daniel's jacket as the younger man reached for the creature.

"Just a little further, Teal'c."

There was a splash of water, and an odd growling sound emanated from under the pier. Daniel yelped as he lifted up the pink "gremlin".

"Jack!" he yelled, his voice growing louder as the syllable went on. "I really need something to put him in!" he continued, eyeing the creature hanging inside the net, his arm stretched as far away as possible. "Or her, I suppose."

The gremlin fixed his gaze on his captor and glared, which made Daniel shudder.

"You wanna hold it?" he asked Teal'c.

"You appear to be fine. I will fetch O'Neill."

A few minutes later Daniel had managed to make his way to the porch as well, the creature only mildly more aggravated. Jack walked outside holding a small dog cage in his hand. Daniel regarded the creature with a weary eye before inserting it in the plastic box. It growled in protest.

"I'm gonna go wash my hands…" Daniel muttered and left.

"Doesn't look too harmful," Jack said, looking at the poor thing through the grid, the gremlin huddled at the back.

"I believed the creature was aquatic, that it lived underwater," Teal'c pondered.

"Well, he seems to be doing fine above it," Jack replied.

"I think it was just trying to find food," Sam said, walking towards them. "I need to take some samples. At least some skin cells."

Jack grimaced. This would not be fun.

***

Not long after Sam had finished, leaving Teal'c and Jack to keep an eye on the irate pinkish creature, now turning more and more burgundy, Daniel yelled from inside, "Eh, guys! You should really see this..."

The trio soon appeared in the kitchen where a baffled Daniel was staring at the open fridge.

"I think I know where it came from," he surmised.

Jack shrugged. "I'll be darned. Who'd've thunk?"

"Sir, I believe this time, you have gone too far," Sam said, her mouth forming a seemingly permanent grimace.

"Hey, it's not my fault we have such busy jobs that I don't have time to clean out the fridge."

Daniel shook his head in disbelief, Teal'c looming behind him.

"O'Neill, we must find a new suitable home for the creature," Teal'c said, the demand evident in his voice.

"Oih… Suggestions anyone?"

***

That's it then, the last chapter (or so I imagine) left to go. The zaniness shall continue a little bit longer.

Thanks for reading. Any and all comments are welcome.


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